


Old McCrowley had a farm

by Signe_chan



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Crack, M/M, One Night Stand, farm animals
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-30
Updated: 2012-05-30
Packaged: 2017-11-06 08:36:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 753
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/416877
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Signe_chan/pseuds/Signe_chan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Gabriel goes home with Crowley he doesn't expect a farm yard.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Old McCrowley had a farm

Gabriel was not in the habit of going home with demons, but they did say you only live once. That and Crowley had plied him appropriately, flattered his ego and, well, if he was going to experiment with the ‘dark’ side of the spectrum at least he was being classy. King of the crossroads, not just any old demon. 

So, after the appropriate amount of persuasion, he’d let Crowley snap them back to his place. He’d been appropriately blasé, of course, about the mansion and the wine and the demons scuttling about to do Crowley’s bidding. It wasn’t as though he couldn’t whip up something much more impressive. Crowley acted suitably unfazed by Gabriel’s attitude as he showed him around. It was all going more or less as expected until Crowley lead him in to a barn yard. 

“What the hell is this?” Gabriel asked. And, ok, barnyard might not be entirely accurate. It was, or had been, a ballroom. And quite a nice ballroom, really. More tasteful then some of the rooms they’d passed through in this architectural pissing contest. But, however nice the setting, there was no denying that was a cow. 

“Oh yes,” Crowley said with a shrug. “I forgot you could see them. They’re my animals.” 

“I can see that,” Gabriel replied with a roll of his eyes. “Is that pig demonic?” 

“Of course, you don’t think I’d just let a normal pig wander around my ball room, did you?” 

Gabriel didn’t say anything, but he did wander further into the room. The cow was looking at him with big, dull eyes and chewing something that sounded suspiciously like bone from the crunching noise it was making. The pig was sniffing the floor, apparently entirely uninterested, and it looked like a demon pig. Big and with tusks like horns sticking right out of its mouth. A duck was waddling around the room, it’s eyes bright red, and who the hell had a demon duck? A cat was curled up on the chair and two hell hounds were lying across a corner of the room in a flop pile as though they hadn’t a care in the world. 

“Why the farm?” he asked, waving his hand around. 

“Protection,” Crowley said with a grin that bordered on manic. “Who’s going to rob my house with this lot on guard duty?” 

“I’m not sure the demon cow is much of a dent,” Gabriel said. The cow in question looked up at him with big, sad, cow eyes as if it understood just what he’d said. 

“Well, I admit it’s the hounds that get the most workout,” Crowley said, gesturing at them. “Lazy great oafs that they look, they’re actually wonderfully loyal. The whole lot are loyal to me really, except the cat, even demon cats aren’t really loyal to anyone.” 

“So, they’re like pets?” Gabriel asked, eyebrow quirked. “Did you name them?” 

“Of course not,” Crowley scoffed. “They’re hell beasts, they don’t need names.” 

“They so do,” Gabriel replied, his eyes lighting up as he spun to look at the assorted animals. “Ok, if you won’t, I will.” 

“Oh god, don’t,” Crowley snapped. “You’ll give them some god-awful angel names or something.” 

“Nothing of the sort,” Gabriel replied. “I’m going to name the cow Cowley.” 

“Cowley?” 

“Yep, like Crowley only like a cow.” 

“Yes, I got that much,” he replied, sounding very much like he was regretting ever letting Gabriel in to his house. “It’s ridiculous. I suppose you’re going to name the big Pigley?” 

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Gabriel said. “He’s Sowley. And the duck can be Fowley.” 

“It just gets better and better,” Crowley muttered. “Go on the, do your worst.” 

“Well, one of the dogs has to be Growley…” he said, frowning at them. “And the other can be…Bow Wowley.” 

“Bow Wowley?” 

“Yes. And, finally, Meowley.” 

“Well, they’re to a theme, I’ll give you that.” 

“They are,” Gabriel agreed. “And now I’ve bestowed named on all of your animals, let’s go to bed.” 

Crowley looked like he was having serious second thought but, none the less, he let Gabriel upstairs and soon the menagerie was forgotten. 

~*~*~*~

It took a few days for Crowley to realise the problem. The names had been conferred on his animals by THE messenger of god. That meant they’d stuck. The stupid dogs would only answer to the names Gabriel gave them. Even the damn cat paid a little attention when you said his name. 

It was the most irritating one-night stand he’d ever had.

**Author's Note:**

> Ok, I can take no credit for the names. That is all down to Mark and the lovely atendees or Asylum 8. Also, at that con Mark said the character he'd most like to do a scene with who he hasn't yet is Gabe, so this happened.


End file.
